


But We're So Happy

by anxiousAnarchist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cotton Candy, F/M, M/M, gonna rot your teeth out with this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-11
Updated: 2011-10-11
Packaged: 2017-10-24 12:20:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/263414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousAnarchist/pseuds/anxiousAnarchist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A morning in the Pyrope-Vantas-Egbert household.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But We're So Happy

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by/blatantly stolen from http://urbananchorite.tumblr.com/post/10786480641/and-karkat-makes-three. (I'm so sorry, urban_Anchorite and co, I keep stealing all your cracky ideas. It's bad. It's bad and I feel bad.)
> 
>  _I have no regrets._

John makes pancakes pretty much every morning, because he still wakes up early ("like you're in high school or something, gogdamn," says Karkat) and because Terezi and Karkat would probably, let's be totally honest, starve to death if it weren't for him and his years of carbohydrate creation training.

When Terezi slumps into the kitchen her hair's still all mussed from sleep, and she's half into her work clothes, red blazer contrasting sharply with her teal pajama pants covered in little dragons.

She sniffs the air. "You put food coloring in the batter again," she says, grin stretching across her whole face in that way that still makes his stomach twist every time he sees it.

"Yup."

"That's it, you're my favorite." She thumps into a chair and grabs a stack of the multi-colored pancakes, already dribbled with blueberry syrup. "K4RK4T!" she shouts.

"WHAT?" comes Karkat's surly reply from the bedroom.

"You're out of the marriage. John is my favorite now! We're going to move to Majorca and he's going to feed me strawberries all day long."

Karkat appears at the doorway, scowling. He's wearing one of John's t-shirts, and he's bleary eyed, because as John and Terezi soon discovered, Karkat is not. a. morning person. ("I WANT YOU FUCKERS TO REPEAT THAT AFTER ME, AND THEN I WANT YOU TO WRITE IT A HUNDRED TIMES. I SWEAR TO GOG IF I WAKE UP AT FIVE IN THE MORNING TO YOUR INSIPID GIGGLING ONE MORE TIME . . . ")

"You don't even know where Majorca is," he says.

"I can find out," says Terezi. "I have ways."

The terrifying thing about it is that she really does. John's still half scared of her, until he remembers that last night they sharpied moustaches onto the covers of all of Karkat's favorite movies. Oh man, he is going to actually have a heart attack when he finds out. His eyes are going to get all bulgy and adorable, it's going to be great.

John slides a plate of red-purple-orange pancakes in front of Terezi, who immediately douses them in raspberry and blueberry syrup and starts eating them with her hands.

"Don't get any syrup on your jacket!" says John.

"I'll just say it's the blood of my enemies," says Terezi. She has eyes only for the pancakes now. The pancakes are her loves, she has left John far behind. She is naming their little pancake-troll babies in her mind.

John moves another stack of pancakes onto a plate. "Karkat, stop sulking. I made chocolate chip pancakes!"

Karkat lurches towards a seat like a dead man. He doesn't really wake up until like noonish, most of the time. "I don't even like chocolate chip pancakes," he mutters, but that is a total lie, and it's cute how he thinks he still has to lie about stuff like that.!

"But you'll eat them anyway, to spare my delicate feelings, right?"

"I know you are a fragile fucking butterfly, Egbert, so I will resign myself to eating these flat cardboardy discs with cheap chocolate inserted into them in an attempt to preserve your delicate sense of self esteem."

Terezi looks up from her pancakes for a minute. "Guys, I just realized something," she says.

"What?" says Karkat, through a mouthful of pancake.

"We are the absolute best at marriage. It's us."

This is objective truth, and John cannot deny it, as Terezi pulls Karkat and him into a sticky hug. There is syrup everywhere.

"I have to go administer cold hard justice," says Terezi.

"Aww!" says John. "But that's what you did yesterday."

Terezi pushes her plate away, and licks most of the syrup off of her face. "I know. You two will waste away without me, but you must try and carry on."

Terezi waltzes to the door, and hangs on the doorknob. "Goodbye, my waifus!" she says.

"You realize this is the second time this week she's worn her pajamas to work," says Karkat, still half attached to John. John's pretty sure their hair is glued together with syrup, but he's okay with that.

"Shhh," says John, patting his head. "Don't ruin the moment."


End file.
